What I love about Halloween

For one night, 
this country looks different…

Pumpkins deck doorways,
skeletons adorn front yards,
orange lights glow.

Little princesses, ninjas,
sports stars and singers parade 
the sidewalks, parents in tow.

We open our doors,
greet our neighbors’ children,
offer them Twizzlers and Twix,
Snickers and Sour Patch Kids,
pretzels, popcorn, fruit snacks and more.

We say, “Wow, look at that costume!”
“Happy Halloween!”
“Here, have a treat!’

What we mean is,
*I see you.*
*You are welcome here.*
*Take and eat.*

This is a night when 
children are cherished.

And I wonder, 
what would happen if we 
held on to our Halloween spirit?

How would the world change 
if we opened our doors 
— and shared — more often?

Reaching for goodness

“A writer will be interested in what we don’t understand rather than what we do.” —Flannery O’ Connor

Your oldest son asks what you and his dad are whispering about before dinner. Facing a cutting board strewn with tomato juice, you startle as if you’ve been caught passing notes in class. He cocks his head, waiting. 

“Dad and I were discussing gun violence… again” would be the honest answer. You glance at your husband. “Don’t worry about it, honey,” is what you say instead, picking up the knife and slicing more tomatoes. Which is ironic, considering the fact that you are indeed worrying — about school shootings, political violence, the genocide in Gaza, wars abroad and division in your country.

Your son doesn’t like your answer, but he’s already moved on, curious about what you’re cooking for dinner. Tacos, you answer. It’s taco Tuesday, after all, and the absurdity of making pico de gallo while grappling with death makes your stomach churn.

At church, your pastors preach that God is good and people are sinful, and while you agree, you also wonder about this message’s effect on the human psyche week after week. And what of the barrage of bad news we receive, almost daily, on our screens? How does that affect one’s heart? 

At the start of the creation story, God makes humans in God’s own image and calls them very good. Sinfulness writes headlines, but what about our innate capacity for goodness? 

You think of the way your youngest wraps his arms around your back and hugs you hard like he’ll never let go. You think of your oldest, and the stories he tells you before he drifts off to sleep at night, how he loves to have you listen. Yes, your kids fight and whine — all kids do — but oh, what a marvel they are, what a gift of creation.

The next day, when your beautiful children are at school, you sit at a library desk and press your pen to the page. You wonder, why bother writing at all when there’s so much brokenness around us? What good will my words do, anyhow? Why write?

You look up, eyes settling on elegant shelves brimming with books. When you were young, you reveled in storytime with your parents. After you could read on your own, you carried books with you the way you used to carry around your favorite flower blanket. Since childhood, stories have been your compass, a means to navigate a confusing world. You write because you first read.

As a freelance writer, you create work no one wants to pay for, but everyone needs. Articles, essays and devotions guide our thinking. Poems, prayers and stories comfort us at weddings and funerals, birthdays and graduations. Writing often garners measly (if any) wages and is already being replaced by AI. You write because the need to express is human, and our stories are marked by emotions, memories and hard-earned insights no computer can ever comprehend. Human storytellers have had a place in society for eons and they will continue to be vital. Life begets art; art begets life. You claim the title storyteller.

You write because once, an author wrote something that touched the deepest part of you, and you finally felt known and less messy and truly worthy and you want to try and do the same thing for someone else. You fold your memories and reflections with care and fashion them into an origami crane. You place the crane into a reader’s hands and say, “Here. I made this for you, I hope it makes you feel less alone. I hope it makes you feel something.” 

You write because holding a pen in your hand is akin to stepping on an express train. It’s as if God handed you a ticket and murmured, Enjoy the ride. You write because the journey beckons.

You write because filling a blank page with ideas empties you like nothing else can. Writing is hard work for a busy mind like yours. You aren’t the kind of writer who can produce graceful material upon first draft. If anything, your drafts are a lot like your garden — in need of weeding, watering and time in the sun. In other words: wild.

Maybe revision is part of the appeal? You spent many years as an editor, clearing space for others’ stories to ripen. After tending wild words, you feel wrought out, clear, purposeful, powerful. 

True, you might toil for hours unseen on one paragraph that will be read by two people and cause seven to unfollow you. Nevertheless, you nurture stories for the few who pause to appreciate their beauty — and will then be moved to grow and bloom themselves. 

And it’s this beauty that guides you today, as you sort through memories from recent days, searching for evidence of God’s grace among us.

You write to reach for goodness. 

How else would you remember a cool breeze rippling through your sweater on a September morning, your first sighting of crimson leaves, foreshadowing the approaching autumn? How else would you remember tossing the football with your eight-year-old son, both of you barefoot in the yard, amber light filtering through the trees, and the glowy feeling inside when he asked you to play with him? (You feel lucky he still asks.) Who else will account for your preschooler’s make believe, and the cookies and fruit he served you in the play kitchen? You write because you love your family, and you love God’s world and this act of documenting what you love is a prayer of thanksgiving. 

You write because you can’t imagine not writing. Your hand gets itchy if you aren’t able to write for too many days. Because there is a story waiting to be written that only you can tell. Because readers are waiting to be known by your words. Because you were created to create. Because, in spite of everything, you believe in humans’ capacity for goodness. Everyone is starving for kindness and you will do your small part to serve up hope.

Wishes

I wish that I was younger
and I wish I wasn’t so concerned about
the passage of time
seeing lines in my reflection,
aging parents, taller kids

I wish that I was richer
and I wish I wasn’t bothered by
the cost of eggs and our medical bills,
how we’ll afford to send our children
to college, how to pay for a new home

I wish our government was kinder
and I wish there was
a crystal ball I could use to predict
how to preserve freedom, peace
and justice for us all

I can’t wish away the hunger
I can’t wish away the hate
But I can name what’s broken
I call for change
and ask myself what I can give
to ease my neighbors’ pain

I wish that I was braver
And I wish I could give voice
to every injustice
that I witness and have experienced
as a mother
as a woman
as a girl

I wish I was a better Christian
and wife and mom
the kind of person who doesn’t
use sharp words with the ones I love the most
I wish I could sand my rough edges
give them the softest version
of my heart

All of these wishes
I keep them hidden
Will any come true?
All of these wishes
I hope God hears them
God, make me new

// Poem inspired by “Wishes,” a song by Tiny Habits

A blessing for parenting in the summer

God of ice cream cones and sun-kissed cheeks,
God of sticky fingers and pool-soaked bodies,
You made summertime, with its warm breezes
and ample sunshine.

You gave us wispy, white clouds for watching,
Rolling tides for splashing,
Sand for digging and building castles.

Be with me now as I parent
my children through this season,
As we, together, navigate
Longer days and unstructured time.

You know that “School’s out for the summer”
Contains multitudes — stress and sweetness,
dread and relief.
“What can we do?” and “Can I have another snack?”
The answer varies, depending on the hour.

To support our kids through this season means
Pool passes and park playdates,
Sports camps and Vacation Bible School,
Family travel and time unstructured.

Let us see the blank space on the calendar
Not as a challenge to be feared,
But as a gift of rest to be savored
Moments imprinted on our hearts.

Let us revel in the joy of our children
When they witness butterflies soaring
Or dandelions blooming,
When they take off on their bikes for the first time,
And savor that first ripe blueberry.

Let us celebrate their beauty
As they learn to swim and bike,
As they get lost in their favorite book,
As they slide, swing, and run at the park,
As they dig in the dirt and help plant tomatoes.

And when the days grow long and tedious,
And we cannot fathom grappling with
one more tantrum,
Let us draw on the support of our village —
Neighbors, family, church members, friends
Let us hear: “You’re doing great.”

Remind us you are near — in the cool waters
of the creek,
Juicy bites of watermelon,
The surprise rainbow,
The light of fireflies,
A campfire’s glow,
And the joy of watching our children grow.
Amen.

// written with my friend Kimberly Knowle-Zeller as summertime approaches. If you liked this new blessing, you may enjoy our devotional, The Beauty of Motherhood.

The Beauty of Motherhood book cover

To mother

“What would you have liked to know before becoming a mom?” a friend asked recently. 

“Wow, good question,” I laughed. When I was pregnant, the moms in my circle offered all sorts of sage advice, yet, ultimately, I needed to figure out motherhood for myself. 

The first time I held my baby, we were in the NICU. I remember looking into his blue eyes, feeling his weight and experiencing sheer joy — and terror. The nurses had left. Now I was responsible for his well being. Would I be up to the task?

Even today, I wonder what I’d say to an expectant mother. How do you describe the toughest, most beautiful job in the world?

Is it like being a nurse, caring for needy patients? Or more like a teacher, presenting lessons and encouraging budding learners?

At times, a short order cook. A cheerleader. Housekeeper. Zookeeper! Captain of the ship. 

Perhaps motherhood is like being a writer, nurturing wild words into stories that stir the soul. You spend countless, invisible hours putting everything you have into your work — then you revise, leaning into whatever the piece wants to become. And here’s the kicker: You can only steward your stories for so long until they’re ready to be set free, with a life of their own.

Motherhood is as impossible to contain as the weather. It’s sunshine and storms. Clear skies and blizzards. Rainbows, too. 

I don’t think anyone can fully prepare you for the cataclysmic identity shift of motherhood. The call to mother will stretch you beyond your capacity. You will embody love. You will make mistakes. You will know sweetness beyond understanding. You’re bonded forever and compelled to endure a perpetual state of letting go. And when you feel as if you can no longer hold it all, grace will carry you through. 

What did I know of motherhood when I was young? What do I know now? How do you describe a metamorphosis of the heart?

Reasons to wake early

To witness fuschia streak across the sky
and tangerine clouds outlined in gold
To notice sparrows singing
To savor hot coffee without interruption
To breathe
To untangle a thicket of thoughts on paper
before the day unfolds
To thank God for another spin
around the sun
To remember that, as the sky evolves,
I can too
To dwell in light — and possibility

I want to remember you like this

Immersed in the world of Dogman,
our dog curled against your chest,
your head resting atop the mega Pikachu pillow,
one leg dangling off the leather couch,
and laughter bubbling out of your mouth.
What I like most about you now is that
when you’re reading, you’re completely at ease.

photo credit: Rachel Liv Photography

I want to remember you like this, too:
Handsome in your chambray shirt,
standing tall with a genuine grin,
your hands anchoring your little brother’s shoulders.
Chances are high that he kicked you before this photo
— you are his nemesis and his idol —
still, you keep answering the call to lead
and love your brother (sometimes giving tough love).
I am awed by your nurturing spirit.

I need to remember you like this:
Far away from me, eyes locked on the horizon,
pointing to something unknown.
Was it the waves breaking?
The impossibly blue sky?
All I know is that, going to the beach was your idea
you asked us all summer when we could go,
and on Labor Day, the wind was whipping like crazy,
but you got your wish.

After I took this photo, you sprinted toward Lake Michigan,
your little brother (naturally) at your heels, by the time you reached
the water, your sunny blonde hair was tousled and sandy. Eyes shining,
you stepped into the tide. Gripping your brother’s hand, I watched. For the first time, I wasn’t afraid if you could hold your own, because this summer, you swam like a fish at the pool. Still you stayed nearby
(a small mercy on a day when the waves were wild),
you even came back to me the first time I called.

One day sooner than I’d like, you’ll swim away for good. Like the stones
your brother collects from the shore, I store up this truth
to revisit later. Today you’re still my boy, content at home
and also pulled toward adventure. I want to cherish you at eight —
so ebullient, so bright.

This poem is dedicated to my son Jack; today is his eighth(!) birthday. The title of this piece was inspired by poet Michelle Windsor.

Chapter 38

Today she turns 39.

Her 38th year is not one she’d ever ask to repeat. “Trying” is how her husband described it in her birthday card. Other adjectives she’d add are “traumatic” and “revelatory.” She has no shining accomplishments to toast. There were more endings than beginnings. More questions than answers. At one point, she disliked herself so much she couldn’t bear to look in the mirror.

Healing took time and courage. She left communities she loved because belonging to them was causing her harm. For a season, she set down her pen and silenced herself. She had hard conversations and made school lunches and folded the laundry and kissed her children and cried in the shower.

Does everyone have these hidden pains they just shoulder quietly? she asked God. Her faith was shaken, but she didn’t stop believing.

Hours of research and reflection helped her see she wasn’t alone. The stories she read — paired with her family’s love — mended what was broken inside. Joy returned. And with it, many wonderful moments; the only possible explanation was grace.

She discovered that some years are gentle and sweet, and other years, everything you think you know burns to ash and you have to fight like hell to rise up after the fire.

After much prayer, she picked up her pen again. She decided she’ll write another book.

At 6:15 a.m. today, her sons tumbled into the master bedroom, searching for her. Her husband rolled back the comforter and the two boys burrowed between them like a pair of puppies. Under the warmth of the comforter, she clung to her children. At least I kept them safe and sound, she resolved. I held them and they held me. That is enough.

Evening prayer

God, you sculpted the heavens and the earth,
you painted the sea and the stars.
You made everything and said it was good.
Still, I have to ask…
Why did you make hurricanes? And tornadoes?
Why cancer? Why weapons? Why war?

Perhaps the question I should be praying is,
Why do humans hurt each other
— and our planet?
How do we fix what’s broken?
How do we care for raging waters and hearts?
How do we engender peace?
How do we stay afloat amid such heavy issues?
What will this world become?

And God, I have other, albeit lesser, queries:
Why does my two-year-old always resist sleep? When will the bedtime battles and tantrums end?
Also, why are groceries so dang expensive? And houses? Why wrinkles? Why neurodiversity?
Why depression?

How come I’m still in pain, even months after that trauma? Will these scars ever disappear?

O God, despite the sin and muck in my life
and in creation, why do you keep blessing us
with sunsets? Why is autumn so stunning?
Why does the Lakeshore never fail
to settle my soul?
Why honeycrisp apples?
Why porcupines?
Why snow?
How is it that, whenever I watch my children sleep, I get a lump in my throat? When did I get so lucky and how come I’m often blind to this grace when they’re awake?
How do I keep them safe?
How will I ever let them go?

How do I carry all these fears,
worries,
joys,
hopes?

That’s the wrong question again, isn’t it?
How do I stop grasping for control and start clinging to you, God?
Will you make me an instrument of your peace?
Will you grant me eyes to see your glory?

Blessing for another school year

For my second grader

May your backpack be light 
and your friend circle widened,

May your mind be opened
and your mouth shut when the teacher is speaking!

May you multiply joy and create beauty,
keep wondering “Why?” and discovering answers,

May your lunch be nourishing
and may you actually eat it!

May you recess, leap, laugh, race
and be a good sport, no matter the outcome,

May you dwell less on competing 
and more on doing your very best,

May you stay safe at school
and be a safehaven for others,  

May you walk tall and stay humble,
be slow to anger and quick to apologize, 

And when you stumble or cry,
may you feel comfort and care,
and remember you’re deeply loved
by your family and your Creator,

As you enter a new grade,
hold onto that “fresh minty feeling,”
and even when it wanes, know that
the work will eventually end,
the bell will ring and free time is coming,

Remember another school year — with its highs, lows,
laughter and tears — is part of your becoming.